Letters to God 1

Hello Mr. God,

What’s the damn deal son? I’m sorry; I’m not allowed to use that type of language when I am speaking to you, right? How are you? I hope all is well up there. Tell Biggie and 2Pac I said “What up niggas.” Is it ok for me to say nigga? I mean, it’s not a curse word. By the way, what is a curse word? I'll get back to that later. The reason for me writing you today is because it’s time for me to choose my religion. I knew this day was coming but I did not realize how soon this day would arrive.

Before I begin, maybe I should tell you a little about myself. I am a twenty-five year old black male from Los Angeles, Ca—Westside!!! I was born in Compton, Ca at Dominguez Hills Hospital. I’m straight from the hood but I have lived in very nice areas as well. Today is my twenty-fifth birthday and I have decided to choose my religion. I know that this is a very big decision so I decided to write you for some advice on which one to choose.

I live in America God, and this country is the land of Christianity. I mean it is everywhere. Their leader is this dude named Jesus; they say that he died on some cross for our sins about two thousand years ago. They say that if you accept him as your lord and savior you will live forever in Heaven. According to these Christians, this dude was off the chain God. He healed the sick, raised people from the dead, walked on water, turned water into wine, and was man and god all at the same time. He even has this book written about him called the Bible, however, the first part of the book doesn’t really talk about him.

I mean this Christian religion is everywhere in this country and they love this Jesus guy. Families have pictures of him in their homes—this Jesus guy must be off the chain because I have seen him pictured as a white man, black man and a Hispanic man. One of the more popular fashions in this country is to wear a necklace with a small statue of him hanging from it. Oh snap, I forgot, “WWJD”. What is that you ask? God, it means “What Would Jesus Do” Its one their biggest catch phrases. Apparently, if you are about to do something you should ask yourself “What Would Jesus Do”. Tight huh? I thought so too.

God, I am really liking this Christian religion but it’s really confusing. First off, they have two main divisions: Catholics and Protestants. I don’t know too much about the Catholics but I do know that their leader is called a Pope. He wears this big hat—between you and me God, I think they need to rethink that hat thing because I think it’s going to hurt him. Supposedly, the Catholic Church is a direct descendent of one of Jesus’ homeboys named Paul. I think that’s what happened but I could be wrong.

Next, you have the Protestants. God, these guys thought the Catholics were crazy with all their rules and decided to worship your man Jesus under their own terms. They also have many different names: Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, and others. God, this is where you come in. I was crunk about these Christian guys until I heard how some of them used Christianity to justify enslaving the African in America. Isn’t that crazy! Tell me about it. I couldn’t believe it either. Basically, these guys told the African slaves that they shouldn’t worry about slavery because Jesus would provide a better life for them in heaven. This led to approximately 300 years of African enslavement in American.

Now God, I’m not stupid, I know that this Jesus guy wasn’t the only way slavery was justified and continued, but it was a big part. Today, these former slaves continue to join the same religion that helped to enslave them nearly 300 years ago. As a black man I find that disturbing. God, I have been told that Africans were worshiping Jesus long before they came to America, but I also know that they were members of other religions long before this Jesus guy hit the scene. There are more things that I can talk about concerning Christianity but I don’t know them all and I need to move on to my next religion.

Next up God is Islam. Now what do I know about Islam? Well, the followers of Islam are called Muslims. Their leader or Jesus-like person is called Muhammad. I don’t think they worship him like the Christians worship Jesus. Now, the crazy thing about Islam is that I think it’s like a cousin religion to Christianity. Supposedly, this guy named Abraham was tight with God. So, I guess he was tight with you or the other you--whatever the case may be he had these two sons. One named Ishmael and the other Isaac. The story goes that Islam was derived from the lineage of Ishmael and Christianity was derived from the lineage of Isaac. Crazy huh? So I think they worship the same god, but Muslims call him Allah. Anyways, back to my story.

Islam is cool. They have a holy city in the Middle East called Mecca. I think that all Muslims who are capable are required to a make a trip there at least once in their lives. Islam also has a book that talks about their religion like the Christians but it’s called the Koran. It’s a pretty big book and some people know the book verbatim. They believe that that Jesus was a prophet but not God how the Christians believed he was. In the Islamic faith, they have these pillars that are the foundation of their religion. Now, I don’t know them all but I heard that they are like the heart and soul of the religion.

How about Islam God? I don’t know because I don’t know much about it and it’s not a popular religion here in America. In addition God, our country has been beefing with countries that are predominately Islamic. This is really hard for me to decide because I wouldn’t want to be attacked because of my religion here in my home country. Also, like the Christians, there are two main divisions: Sunnis and Shiites. I don’t really know their differences. I wish I knew more about Islam but I have to move on to my next religion.

Judaism, supposedly, this is God’s original people. God, I just thought about something, I have a lot of religions to evaluate. I haven’t evaluated Buddhism, Hinduism, and the countless other religions in the world past and present. God what should I do? Maybe, I should just be a Christian. Most people that I know are Christians and the Jesus dude is pretty cool. Maybe I should just be different and be down with your homeboy Muhammad and Allah. I don’t know God. You’re the omniscient one. I just want something better after I leave this hellhole. Oh yea, I’m not supposed to use those words. Why not? Who is this committee who decided that certain words are “bad” or “cursed”.

I'm sorry God, but this is some bullshit. This decision shouldn’t be this damn hard. You created me and everything else in this earth: love, hate, sin, life and death. What if my crazy ass chooses the wrong one and I still go to hell? That would be some shit. I’m just so tired of people and their religions. They try to make me feel bad for not attending their churches but they have never even questioned why they attend those churches. I guess its tradition. What the hell is tradition anyways? I guess one fool decided to do something and a bunch of fools decided to follow him. God, I’m sorry that I am becoming emotional but life is a bitch and then you die.

Sincerely,

Robert Harwin

P.S.

Please respond soon because there are some people knocking on my door who call themselves “Jehovah’s Witnesses”.